


All That's Left of Yesterday

by anisstaranise



Series: From My Heart Flown: Collection of Drabbles [22]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Death, F/M, Mourning, Moving On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-21
Updated: 2015-05-21
Packaged: 2018-03-31 14:08:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3980965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anisstaranise/pseuds/anisstaranise
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She picked up her pace, her boots clacking loudly against the pavement as she passed the park where children played happily- as if the world hadn’t been ripped in half- as if there hadn’t been a giant vortex  that shredded the skies mere days ago that devastated Central City- as if Eddie Thawne hadn’t been torn from her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All That's Left of Yesterday

**Author's Note:**

> This is my way of coping with the finale. So much emotions. 
> 
> Inspired by an episode of **Doctor Who** entitled " _Last Christmas_ "
> 
> Title and lyrics from _"[Hello](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ih61MJ72v1Y)"_ by **Evanescence**

_Playground school bell rings again,  
Rain clouds come to play again._

A flash of lightning lit up the dreary evening, a clap of thunder following suit. Iris hugged her cardigan tighter around her petite frame, desperately trying to make it home before she unravelled at the seams.

She picked up her pace, her boots clacking loudly against the pavement as she passed the park where children played happily- as if the world hadn’t been ripped in half- as if there hadn’t been a giant vortex that shredded the skies mere days ago that devastated Central City- as if Eddie Thawne hadn’t been torn from her.

Iris started to jog when memories of Eddie flooded all her senses- how he would smell of sandalwood and morning dew, how his eyes would light up when she came home, how he would touch her, kiss her, love her-

Before she knew it, Iris was sprinting towards home, faster- faster- as if she could outrun the pain, the loneliness- her footsteps echoed along with the hollowness festering within as her tears streaked down her face, burning her skin.

 _Has no one told you [he’s] not breathing?_  
_Hello, I’m your mind- giving you someone to talk to,_  
 _Hello._

\---

 

_If I smile and don’t believe,  
Soon I know I’ll wake from this dream._

Iris left their home exactly as it was; Eddie’s side of the bed unmade, a pair of his socks remained draped on the arm of the chair in their study- untouched- although Eddie leaving his clothes around the house usually drove her mad. She wished she could still have that option- to be mad at Eddie over something so petty.

But Iris couldn’t bring herself to move anything, somehow still convinced the timeline would fix itself- and Eddie would walk through the door, his thousand-watt smile etched on his face, blue eyes gleaming with affection for her, just for her.

Joe had dropped by a few times to check up on her, his last visit was more than unpleasant. Her father had tried to shake her out of her fog- reminding her that Eddie wouldn’t want her to wallow in sadness. It had infuriated her; no one was allowed to speak for Eddie. Ever.

If Eddie wanted her to stop wallowing, he could tell her himself, she thought between the sobs that raked violently through her body.

 _Don’t try to fix me, I’m not broken._  
_Hello, I’m the lie living for you so you can hide,_  
 _Don’t cry._

\---

 

For months on end, Iris dreamt of Eddie, of what their life could have been, of the family they once talked of having, and every time she woke up, it felt like Eddie had died all over again.

The anguish the morning would bring caused Iris to retreat inside herself, barely living- merely floating from one day to the next.

But on a cold December night, a vivid dream shook her entire world:

“I miss you,” Iris cried into Eddie’s broad shoulders, her trembling body held close by his strong arms.

“I know, baby,” he assured. “I miss you, too. More than I can ever express.”

Iris stole a kiss, deep and selfish, because she could.

“Five minutes,” Eddie rasped, when they parted.

“What?”

“You can miss me for five minutes a day,” he elaborated, his fingers caressing her face, each touch seemed like a desperate attempt to memorize her features. “Five minutes, and you better do it properly.”

Iris chuckled sadly, tears welling in her eyes.

“But all the rest of the time, Iris West, choose to live. Live that life full of gumption we all know you possess. Be happy,” Eddie breathed. “You deserve to be happy. Now wake up and _live_.”

There was an ache in Iris’ chest that made it hard to breathe. “If I wake up, you won’t be there,” she sobbed, clutching at every inch of Eddie she could reach.

“It’s okay,” he uttered softly, so lovingly. “I’ll always be here.” Eddie curled his fingers between Iris’ and placed their joined hands over her heart. Her heart, that was where she would always hold him, keep him.

Waking up that morning wasn’t quite as painful as the mornings before. Today, she had a purpose. Today, she would live again.

Eddie sacrificed himself to eradicate an evil Thawne descendant. While everyone thought Eddie died valiantly saving the world, Iris knew the truth;

Eddie died saving _her_ , everyone else just got lucky.

She owed it to Eddie to live.

Eddie was a hero, _her_ hero.

After a lazy shower and an indulgent breakfast, Iris grabbed an empty box from storage and slowly started packing Eddie’s half of their home- starting with the pair of socks in the study.

Hours passed, the box finally full to the brim.

“Five minutes,” Iris whispered to their home that would forever hold all the yesterdays she and Eddie had shared, a tear running down her cheek as she sealed the first box of Eddie’s things.

 _Suddenly I know I’m not sleeping,_  
_Hello, I’m still here-_  
 _All that’s left of yesterday._

\---END

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading.  
> Comments welcomed.


End file.
